WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
