so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
