you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
