the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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