i will never coherently bang her
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
