WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
