names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
