The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
