Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize