Already got asked if we're dating
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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