i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
