Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize