Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
