we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
