The maid of honor just puked.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
