I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
