woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
