I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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