me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize