Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
