and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
