Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
