You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
