but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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