bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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