I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
