I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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