there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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