a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
