This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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