Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize