Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
