Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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