bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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