I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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