how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
