She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
