Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
