Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
