Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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