your thong is hanging out like whoa
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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