i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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