That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
