oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
