24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
