you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
