cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
