oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
