He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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