i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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