Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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