Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
