Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
