I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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