I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
