apparently the secret to your success is patron
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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