i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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