i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
