grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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