We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
