I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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